How to Make Amends?

May 2, 2023

The making amends process is a powerful and healing step that helps people with a substance use disorder take responsibility for their actions. It also allows for the restoration of relationships and repair of harm caused.

However, making amends can be challenging, and the process is not always easy. Some people may not be receptive to your efforts or even the concept of making amends.


An apology is a written or spoken expression of regret, remorse, or sorrow for having wronged someone. It also demonstrates your commitment to making amends.

Apologizing is a crucial skill for anyone to learn, because it can help you get through a difficult situation in your life. However, it’s important to remember that it’s not a license to be abusive or hurtful to others.

When apologizing, it’s essential to explain your own behavior and why you may have been unkind. This will help the person to understand why your behavior was unkind and will help you to apologize more accurately.

Next, focus on how you will make amends. This can be as simple as telling them what you will do to fix your mistake or as complex as offering them money or other assistance.

Ask for Their Feedback

Feedback is a gift that can accelerate your development and make you more aware of your strengths and areas of opportunity. Regular feedback from your manager shines a light on development opportunities and helps you stay aligned with their expectations for your performance.

It also shows your managers that you're committed to improving. Asking for feedback can be intimidating, but it's a great way to build trust with your manager and keep them focused on your development.

In addition to your manager, it's also worth asking your coworkers for feedback on specific skills and competencies you're working on. This will give you a variety of perspectives on how to improve, and can help reduce misunderstandings between you and your manager!

Send a short email that includes the specific product, person or event you're working on, and a brief description of what you'd like feedback on. This will make it easier for your colleagues to remember the feedback when they receive it, and can make sure that the feedback isn't lost in your busy schedule.

Make the Apology Personal

Taking the time to personalize your apology can make all the difference. Whether you’re sending an email to your customer service team or to a customer, take the time to address them by name and explain how your mistake has affected them directly.

This also shows them that you’re willing to listen and understand their concerns. Having this conversation can help preserve and build a relationship, even when you’ve wronged them.

A good apology also includes a plan for changing the situation in the future. This helps show the person that you’re really serious about making things right and are dedicated to finding a solution that will work for both of you.

Ask for Their Help

When you’re trying to make amends, it can be scary to ask for help. We often worry that the person we’re asking will say “no.” That fear is real, and it’s an important one to recognize.

Nevertheless, most people are happy to help when they feel like they’re contributing something of value to someone else. That’s why it’s so important to be concise and specific in your request.

Apologize for your actions and explain how you’re going to repair the harm that was done. This is important, as it shows that you genuinely regret what was done and want to fix it.

If you’re not sure how to go about making amends, talk with a professional. They can offer guidance and advice on how to make the process smoother. It can be difficult to do so, especially when you’re in the middle of a painful relationship, but it’s worth it. It will leave you feeling better and able to move on with your life.


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